I know this is unprecedented of late, but I am going to update again.
My purpose in updating so soon is to confess. The Bible tells us that we’re supposed to confess publicly, so that’s what I’m doing.
I said I was going to fast, but I didn’t. I ran an errand last night and stopped for a burger when my eyesight was going in and out with the timing of my stomach growling. I should have pulled over to the side of the road and prayed instead of eating. Today, I had leftover pasta and garlic bread for lunch. Each time, the food was small in quantity, but still more than I needed.
So, I’m recommitting myself to fasting. God tried to make the timing perfect, but in my disobedience, I’ve made things harder on myself. You see, yesterday was Sabbath, so I wasn’t doing any schoolwork, nor was I going to do any cooking. Today, I need to do both. So, I’m going to have to focus on my homework through hunger now. And I’m going to have to cook a dinner that I will not be eating.
The price of disobedience is high, my friends.
God told me to fast but I didn’t. And now, I cannot seem to get my portions under control. I do not think I will until I have fasted.
Father, FORGIVE! I am such a willful child! I am hard-headed and disobedient! I do not want to fast because I do not want to experience hunger! I am afraid, Yeshua! Lord, God, I just turn my fear and willfulness over to You. I am quickly losing control because I have forgotten yet again who should have been in control all along. I am sickened with myself. I do give You all praise, though, that my actions have not completely reverted to my regular patterns. Thank You so much, Father, that You showed me my error before I fell too far. Help me, Father, to get through this with a pleasant disposition and a smile on my face. I do not want my family to know that I am fasting – I feel that it would be against Your Word to tell them. Help my focus to remain on You, even while doing homework. Please, God, be with me.
